Things I’ve Learned

I’ve learned I talk a good game but I’m bad at follow through. I’ve learned you should keep your serial number/photo list up to date in case someone or more decides to kick in your front door. I’ve learned (or re-learned) I am a stress eater. I’ve learned I have to try to accept myself as I am but to continually improve.

After the hiatus of diet and exercise and the fits and starts I’ve had lately, I realize I’m not going to be able to complete the Mercedes half marathon so I’ve reworked my goals. Instead of the half marathon this February, I plan to RUN the Mercedes 5K Fun Run. Yes, I said run. I feel that will be an achievable goal. Next year I will do the half marathon and then we will see about completing the marathon. Right now, I think I would be happy if I get to the 10K race level with a half marathon thrown in once a year.

As far as the diet front, I’ve been tossing around low/no carb for a couple of weeks but I think I’m just going to go the healthy food/restricted calorie/exercise route. If I’m going to run a 5K, I will need the carbs for energy. I’ve just got to remember healthy carbs – not candy and cake-type carbs.

I have been eating like a panda plowing through acres of bamboo! Can you tell I read about where some conservationist thinks it is time to let the pandas go the way of doo doo birds? Things have been really stressful lately. An opportunity has been offered The Hubby that I feel would be beneficial to him and our family. He does not see it this way. He only sees that he would have to work some extra hours and maybe some weekends. I’m trying to convince him to at least go through the interview process but he only sees now – not the future. I am so stressed because it looks as if we are ever to get another house, send Sweetie Pie to college or have any type of retirement it is going to be up to me.

Then, last Thursday, someone or two someones kicked in our front door and robbed us. They got a lot of things but they didn’t get the towers that have our pictures or The Hubby’s graphics. They took Sweetie Pie’s DS, three of the Hubby’s guitars, a couple of laptops, the tv in the bedroom and a bunch of Xbox games – not Xbox 360 but 10 year old Xbox games. They got our digital cameras, the trash can and some other electronic-type things. I think I’m most mad about the DS. Why take a child’s toy? How much are you really going to get for an old DS? The worst part of all this is that I had let our apartment insurance lapse. It is totally my fault and I had been meaning to call the insurance company for the past few weeks. I feel so guilty about this. It just makes me want to vomit every time I walk in the door.

I almost didn’t write that last part because I have friends that read this blog but I just feel the need to get everything out – to be honest with myself. I see this blog as basically a journal for myself so. . .

The second thing that makes me mad is now I don’t feel safe in our home. An upstairs apartment is opening up near our current apartment and we are trying to decide if we want to move or not. I really don’t want to pack everything up and move 100 yards to a different apartment but will they come back? They left things you would have thought they would have stolen. Will they come back when they think we have replaced the stuff they stole? But then part of me feels they won’t be back because we will be more aware and the apartment’s courtesy officer (a police officer who lives in our complex) has been driving by more frequently. I’m sick to my stomach just typing this. We have all been sleeping in the living room. Sweetie Pie and I sleep on the air mattress and The Hubby sleeps on the couch. The Hubby has the baseball bat by his head and I have the phone by mine.

And then, what seems to be stressing me even more than the above two things, is that Sweetie Pie’s cub scout den still does not have a den leader nor does it look like anyone is going to step up to do it. What do they do when they have formed a dud den? Why was Sweetie Pie lucky enough to be a part of the dud den? The second packmania is Monday night so it has been whole month that his den has not met. The other dens are already ahead. Do they really expect me to pay dues and buy a uniform when there hasn’t even been a den meeting? Why did they form a den without a leader in the first place? I wanted Sweetie Pie to have an enthusiastic and excited leader, now if he even gets a leader; it is going to be someone who doesn’t want to do it. Who will probably only half-way do it and, I feel, he will miss out on some of the best that the cub scouts have to offer.

Well, now that I have gotten all that out – I still feel sick to my stomach. Then I feel bad because there are so many worse things that could be and are happening to others. We still have plenty of stuff, Sweetie Pie will survive a rough start to cub scouts and The Hubby has a job. Why is it so hard to count your blessings? Why is it so easy to see the crap? I’ve been doing a very bad job praying and taking my troubles to God. I feel silly taking these problems to God when there is so much going on in the world.

Well, thanks for reading this book! I wish I could say it has been therapeutic but it really hasn’t. I hope to be updating more often and I’ll, hopefully, be more entertaining.